Sunday, August 25, 2013

"Who am I to judge another when I walk imperfectly?"

Just a little disclaimer on this post, I am not, by any means, perfect and I'm not saying that I am.
 I was hesitant to even post this blog because of the judgement and snide remarks I'll get from people, my friends included. I know that there are people who will go behind my back and say that I'm "wanting attention and knows that she's getting it" or that I'm "getting annoying," but believe me when I say that nothing I do or say on this blog is for attention. The words I write are just my thoughts and my personal beliefs.

JUDGEMENT. This is something I've always struggled with, but in the last 3 or 4 years, it's been easier for me to love people without judgement. Everybody judges everybody. There is no denying it. We've even been told in church to judge, but to judge righteously. Throughout high school, I had a few experiences where I was told  "You think you're better than everyone just because you're Mormon." No. Just... no. I do not think that I'm better than anyone else. I am positive that there may have been some times in my life that I came off that way, but at the end of the day, I'm just like anyone else. I did judge people, and I judged way too often and with no knowledge of the actual person under the surface. I still do judge, but I try my very best to make it a rare occurrence.
I have many friends, and some of my absolute best friends do not share the same beliefs that I do. Some may say that it's weird that I love them as much as I do, because of the choices they make. Guess what? They are the ones that have taught me to be more loving and less judgmental. 

It's really easy to fall into a group mentality and judge someone that we don't know when our friends are doing it. It's easy for us to hear a story of someone who did something weird, or "wrong" or gross, and  automatically keep the mind set of "Wow, she is seriously so weird. What is wrong with her?"  Sometimes, it's hard to get out of that mentality. What I've learned in the past and what I continue to learn is that you can't not love someone once you know their story.

This past semester, I spent time in a ward (church group) that I didn't put much effort into getting to know the girls and that alone hindered my righteous judgement of them. One girl in particular was kind of known to be a little crazy. I heard a couple stories of what she's done to 'get attention', and I automatically had this mind set that she was someone to stay away from. I didn't go around telling people that I didn't like her or that she is a bad person, but I avoided her and I made an effort to let it be known to my roommates that she was not someone I wanted to be friends with, which is probably just as bad as if I HAD told people she was a bad person. 

Recently I had the opportunity to get to know her a little bit better. I didn't learn her whole entire life story, but I did learn a little bit about her life and I realized that she wasn't exactly the person I thought she was. She is crazy, but not necessarily "bad crazy". I reevaluated my reasoning for not liking her in the first place, and I realized that my reasons were...TERRIBLE.I had never talked to her before, but judged her from what I'd heard OTHERS say about her. What does that say about me?  I don't want to be that girl, the one that judges people when there are so many things about myself that other people could judge me for. I don't want to be that person. The fact that I judged her so unrighteously probably gave HER more reason to judge me, than I had to judge her. 
I'm always reminded of a song we sing in church, "Lord,I Would Follow Thee."

Savior, may I learn to love thee,

Walk the path that thou hast shown,
Pause to help and lift another,
Finding strength beyond my own.
Savior, may I learn to love thee—



Lord, I would follow thee.

 Who am I to judge another
When I walk imperfectly?
In the quiet heart is hidden
Sorrow that the eye can’t see.
Who am I to judge another?

"Who am I to judge another, when I walk imperfectly?" This is something I try to live by every single day of my life. Sometimes I fail, and sometimes I succeed, but at least I'm trying. Among many other characteristics of my life that I'm trying to improve, judging righteously and loving everyone I come across are at the top of the list.

I'm sorry to those that I KNOW will be annoyed by this post, but we're not all as perfect as we thought, are we? I can handle the annoyance of people toward me for this post, but I could not handle if I ignored the fact that I've begun to love people for who they are. I may not volunteer to spend time with someone, but I can love someone solely for the fact that they are a child of God. We are all in the same world, we all have our struggles, we all have our weird quirks. We are all more alike than we may think.

We spend too much time and energy looking for the bad in people, but why can't we spend that time and energy looking for the good in people and learning to love them? What harm would it do? 
I know, through my own experiences, that finding the good in people, and loving them, life is happier...and you gain more friends, and who doesn't like friends? 
Beautiful words from our dear prophet.

"Lord, I Would Follow Thee"





No comments: