Nights Like This

Today I started college classes for the first time. I am 26 hours and 45 minutes away, 1,714.97 miles away from Kentucky, which I consider "home". Mix in the hours,minutes and miles with the change of weather, and altitude and we can say that I'm a little bit more than homesick. I have great roommates, five of the to be exact, but I still feel lonely sometimes. 

I've been in Rexburg since last Thursday morning. I've met some really nice people but because there are almost 16,000 people on this tiny campus, it's hard to know for sure if I'll see them again.Today I was struggling with that fact which made me miss my three very best friends from Kentucky. Of course I miss a ton of my other friends, but those three have been there for years and have always been my rocks.

 I texted Mariah today letting her know that I wish that she was here with me because she was never the type to leave me by myself. Her confidence rubs off on me and she brings me out of my shell. I expressed to her that I miss her and that I had hoped we would have been able to experience college together, but as fate will have it, we are at separate schools, almost 2,000 miles way from each other. 

She told me to be strong, and the next thing I know: Nadia, her older sister who is married and is going to school here in Rexburg, shows up at my apartment per Mariah's request, and let's me know that she is here for me. She doesn't even know me and yet she was willing to come meet me and bring me cookies and tell me everything was going to be okay. 

I didn't even tell Mariah that I needed someone to comfort me, but she already knew. She knew the exact person to do that too. Nadia and Bryce (Nadia's husband) are so sweet and I am so grateful that they took time out of their night to come talk to me.
Once they left my apartment, I just started crying. Crying because I was happy, because I was sad. But mostly because I felt that God had blessed me with one of the best, most caring, selfless friends I could ever ask for. I don't know what I did to deserve her, but I'm glad she is in my life. I thank God every day for allowing me to have such an amazing friend. <3 p="p">

Talent.

Everyone has a talent: whether it's dancing, or singing, or writing stories, or debating. We all have them.

Tonight, I just wanted to highlight three of my friends and their talent. They are AMAZING. They coreographed this themselves. They performed this multiple times for our Specialized Theater class final. I cannot stop watching it. I just wish you all could see the intensity of it in person...And without the obstruction of the head that continues to float in front of the camera. Either way, they are TALENTED . Megan, Carlen, and Colton- Turning Tables 

AND  My friend Brody introduced me last night to this wonderful pop-country-folk band, Eden's Edge. I've been obsessed all day. This song is pure love. It was my "Sunday Song"

Eden's Edge- Christ Alone

Simple.Love.Talent.ENJOY!

A Sad Subject:You Only Live Once

Death.
The loss of a loved one is never an easy topic. We all have our own ways of coping and finding the path back to normal life after a loved one has passed on. Some people cry, some people scream, some people become 'blank', some people separate themselves in sadness, and others come together.   At Oldham County High School, we have had and continue to have numerous tragedies of loved ones lost. We have almost a repetitive line of tragedies in our school, and we experienced another one today at 3 a.m., losing two loved teenage souls. 

At our school, we have always had a way of coming together in the memory of  lost student.  The whole school wears yellow, pink, or  another favorite color of the student that passed away. We all comfort each other and those closest to the student.  I have never had the tragic experience of losing a close friend to death. I have known three out of the four students that have died in the past years that I was in high school. I knew them, but was not friends with them. I always feel a pang in my heart for their family and friends who have to live with a person missing at the dinner table, a bed empty or an empty chair at the movie theatre during a girls night out. I always do what I can to be supportive of the people that did know the students who have passed away, but I almost feel selfish if I post a thousand "We're going to miss you. RIP" Tweets or statuses.

 I don't know how to say this without it sounding heartless, which if any of you know me at all, is NOT who I am. I am one of the most emotional people you might ever come across. Sometimes it seems that we only pay attention after someone had passed away. Millions of people around the world have become familiar with the term "YOLO", and for those of you who, for some reason, may not know what that it means: it stand for You Only Live Once.  I feel, we have come to abuse this term in a way that says "I'm doing something extremely stupid and I know it, but YOLO." YOLO is about being brave- not an excuse to do something stupid or dangerous. Many people seem to realize how precious life is after they've lost someone and vow to never do something so dangerous again. Unfortunately, most of the time, it seems, a few weeks after the tragedy, we are back to living they way we vowed to never live again. 

We all come together and for a split second the world from where we stand seems at peace and everyone loves everyone when someone leaves this life. After a few weeks, however, we seem o lose this sense of togetherness.  We return to hating our neighbors or talking behind people's back or living on the  wrong side of "YOLO".  This type of behavior has always been peculiar to me. And, at the risk of sounding like a "Make Love, Not War" hippie, why do we always have to dissipate back into our hateful lives? 

I didn't mean to begin a sermon.  I am no more perfect than anyone else in this world. I understand how and why people band together in the face of a tragedy-strength in numbers,right?- but why do we go and break the bond after time has passed?

This morning at 3 a.m. two teenagers lost their lives in a car accident. A family lost their 14 year old daughter, another family lost their 15 year old son. I didn't know the two teenagers, but I'm sure that they touched many lives and have befriended many people. I am deeply sad for the people who lost a daughter/son, niece/nephew, sister/brother, fellow cheerleader/ fellow sports team member, or a best friend. I wish them peace in their hearts and comfort in the rest of their everyday life.  God Bless them. Stay Strong.

My Father is an amazing man. He works hard to provide for his family, he loves all six of his daughters unconditionally, and loves our Mother even more. That is the greatest gift he has ever given his daughters: loving our mother to no end. He has taught us so much and has prepared us to go out into the world and be independent. He has taught us how to make our own decisions, and always forgives us when we've made the wrong one.
He has comforted us in our time of need and has made us laugh when we thought we'd never smile again. He has stayed up late at the kitchen table trying to help me with math homework,while I cry in frustration. My dad works out of the country so that he can provide us with what we need and also, the things that we want. My dad is not greedy. He is always willing to help anyone that needs it. He is forgiving, and kind, and gentle, and he loves God. My Father is an amazing man.
      It's Happy Father's day to all the wonderful Father's out there. And to mine: although you aren't here with us today, as you're in Australia, I hope that you are having a wonderful day and know how much your family loves you. I hope you know that all of your daughters love and miss you. You are the best dad we could have ever asked for.  Thank you for everything hat you have ever done for and given to us. We couldn't have been given a better Father. I love you, Dad.

Better Late Than Never

Sis·ter: [sis-ter]noun 1.a female offspring having both parents in common with another offspring; female sibling.
My sisters: imspiration, love, rock, therapist, encourager, biggest fan, supporter, comforter, BEST FRIEND.
MY sisters completely re-write the definition of "sister". Someone who you grow up with. Someone who proves to be your first best frend(s).
-The people you fight with one day, but then the next you are back to normal.
- The person who introduces you to your first scary movie, and then has to let you sleep in her bed because you're too scared to sleep alone.
- The people who have to wake up in the middle of the night and sit,reading to you while you take a nebulizer treatment because you're asthma is keeping you awake.
-The people who edit and revise your school essays even when they live hundreds of miles away.
- The people who teach you how to bake.
- The people who share the same dream as you, and support you no matter how crazy your dream might be.
-The people who you can call when you're having a terrble day and they wont judge you.
-The people that can make you laugh even in your darkest moments.
- The people who you can ask for boy advice.
-The people who you take you on dates with the guys they think are a bit weird.
- The people who know how to push your buttons and get under your skin.
- The people who love you unconditionally and know you better than anyone else.

I have quite the unusual amount of sisters, or so says the world today. Five older siters is apparently a LOT to have. But I honestly, don't knwo where, or WHO, I'd be without all five of my sisters. My sisters all mean the world to me. They've been there for me through everythng even though I haven't lived in a house, or a state for that matter, with four of them in over 4 years. We may not always get along, but I know that they love me, and I hope that they know how much I love them.

Thank You, Pablo Neruda for your mind.

If You Forget Me


I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Something Funny.

We spend our whole lives passing and meeting people. We look at people,but how often do we actually SEE somoene?
I recently met someone that I really enjoy talking to. He's a great freind. I've seen him before but I never actually SAW him until recently. How often does that happen? How often do we see people but not actually know who they are? It's almost idfficult for me to write about this and make my meaning obvious because sometimes the translation from my head to my quickly typing fingers doesn't come clearly. I don't even know what type of situation to compare it to.
I'm seeing this new friend for the first time and getting to know him. Before I just assumed that he was this person that people told me he was. I knew facts about him, like who is friends were and how he was always at the center of our church youth activites. I was content with those facts because I didn't ever give him a second thought. He was just another someone. Just another aquaintence.

Getting to know someone for the second time is another form of this subject. Recently, I've become friends again with someone that used to be my best friend. After a few months of awkward left over fights and harsh words, we stopped talking and communicating all together. It was just about a month ago that this person, let's call him Joseph, and I started talking again. Taking baby steps out of the awkward "I'm not sure if this is uncomfortable and I'm not sure that you want to talk to me" phase. Joseph and I somehow got past everything that happened and caught up on each other's lives. The reunited friendship felt like it was never damaged. We essentially are getting to know each other again because people can change in a time span of seven months, and change we did.

You're probably wondering how these two different situations compare to each other, how they tie in? Well,honestly, I wouldn't be able to tell you. All I can tell you is that they do. Somehow in this rattled,muddled brain of mine, it all makes sense and I wish that I was a better writer so that I could explain to you what I mean. I just keep thinking that along with "stopping to smell the roses", stop and SEE the people around you, because how often do we overlook someone that might make an impact in our life some day?