It's been a little over 3 years since I graduated high school and after I graduated, I moved out to Idaho for school. That's almost 1,800 miles away from my home. I didn't move to get away from the bullies or the mean girls. I moved because I wanted to. I moved so far away because I love traveling. I'm moved away because I wanted to get away from the people I went to high school with and meet new people. I moved because Kentucky had nothing left to offer me.
There was one particular girl in high school that was not necessarily mean to me, but she had no problem laughing at me when I messed up or when I came to school looking less than HER best. I complimented this girls' daughter recently and she was shocked. She said "You're...like nice" I didn't know what to say. I mean, she was genuinely shocked that I would be nice to her. She said "Why was I always so mean to you in high school? You're actually a good person." Well, I knew that the whole time and I'm just sorry that it took you this long to figure it out. We could have been good friends.
I understand why you and your friends and other "popular girls" were not very nice to me. I get it now. It's not because you were insecure - at least, I don't think you were. For all I know you had a lot of insecurities but we weren't close enough for me to know that. You made fun of me because I was an easy target. I wasn't "uncool" or "unpopular" but I was an easy target and I made myself so. I was nice to the people that a "popular" kid wouldn't be nice to. I was an easy target because I had all these religious beliefs that you didn't understand. I was an easy target because I was awkward. I wasn't sure of myself like you seemed to be. I didn't know who I was but I did know that I didn't care about TRYING to be the "cool kids" friend and trying to sit at their lunch table. I guess for some reason that irked you. I guess that the fact that being in the "in group" didn't appeal to me, drew your attention to me because you were so used to everyone trying to impress you and be your friend.
You might not want my forgiveness and you probably don't even care and I might be presumptuous to give it to you, but I just want you to know that I get it now. It hurt at the time but knowing that I had real friends who actually cared about me and didn't make fun of me for my faults and insecurities, it didn't really matter in the long run. I understand. But now you have a beautiful daughter and you seem to have a good life going for you. I'm happy for you because of that.
So, everything is okay.
1 comment:
What you did was worthy to an extent; you're never, ever gonna git over the bully-factor... just like we can never truly live till we git Upstairs (and I hope2God you're arriving).
Nevertheless, as before in the anals of human existence, thar has always, always, always been conflict, whether IT be for good (as in WWII) or evil (as in what abortion does). So we can never truly git over our sinister earth... unless you find the Holy Spirit who lefts U.S. up and sets us down far, far above this abusive planet.
Still here, dear? Lemme tella youse summore about my experiece of Seventh-Heaven...
Before I git outta your hair, girl...
trustNjesus.
Meet me Upstairs.
Gotta lotta tok bout...
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